Gordon Brown to Save the World Again

“I did it last time and I can do it again,” the deluded former PM told a fellow tramp in an alleyway on some grey Scottish street.

You see, since his high flying days as unelected chief in charge of everything, poor Mr Brown has been rather in the dumps. He was eventually kicked out of his home by his long-suffering wife Sarah, and has since been drifting along the streets of Kirkcaldy getting drunk on Special Brew and anything else he can find. Mr Brown, as a homeless tramp, is usually rude to passers-by and has an offensive smell about him that draws complaints from the local people.

The current prime minister, David Cameron, is however, in absolute desperation and plans to enlist Mr Brown’s ‘expertise’ in economic technique, and wants him to become a key adviser to the Treasury, maybe showing new boy Georgie, a thing or two.

“No doubt, we’re in a right old mess. We need to go back to square one and find out what the real root of this economic hell is. Well, I immediately thought of old Broon, and got one of our detectives to search him out from the wilderness. Obviously, from what I’ve heard, he stinks to high heaven and has probably not washed in months, but once we hose the fucker down, hopefully he’ll be able to get back to work in saving the world from certain economic disaster,” David Cameron told the BBC on Tuesday.

Mr Brown, during his premiership, proclaimed to have saved the world no less than three times, and hopefully he can do the same this time around as well.