Osborne to Stimulate Economy With More Heavy Taxation

“Instead of working for 320 days in the year before you make any money for yourself, we want you to work for 359 days of the year before you pay off the taxation,” Mr Osborne said smirking wildly during a parliamentary conference.

George Osborne thinks that restoring growth in the economy is the most important thing to do so this is why he increased VAT to 20% and increased all taxes by 45% as well keeping the 50% tax rate so that there could be a mass brain drain of talent and businesses from the UK.

“It is imperative that we stimulate growth in the economy by taxing people and businesses so much that they cannot move or function. Let’s get Britain moving shall we,” Mr Osborne added.

Reporters attending the conference asked Mr Osborne what his Plan B is. He replied: “More taxation.”