David Cameron: "We Are Living in a Democracy"

MANCHESTER - England - The Prime Minister has shown his true colours at the Conservative Conference today by blatantly denying the British people a vote on an EU Referendum.

"And let me tell you this. You can't have referendums in a democracy. Are you lot insane?"

“You may think you are living in a democracy; it may look somewhat like a democracy, but the reality is that this is not a democracy, because you, the people, have no say. I may have promised an EU vote countless times during my years in the wilderness trying to get you to trust me, but I lied. You believed me, therefore, you lose,” Mr Cameron said emphatically, whilst at the podium for his speech.

F*ck the people

Mr Cameron then went on to say: “I don’t listen to the people, I govern for you because you are inconsequential. With regards to the EU, I have been ordered by Brussels to get the UK ready for euro entry and even more totalitarian laws. By the time I have finished with this place you won’t recognise it. Britain as an entity is finished, we no longer have sovereignty and I and my predecessors have made damn sure that you, the people, are completely disarmed. So please, go watch your X Factor and your Come Dancing or surf your Facebook goldfish bowl pages. Do not bother yourselves with such trivialities like eternal slavery and totalitarian collectivist states.”

The PM then revealed plans which will be imposed by the EU that will make British elections useless. In other words, what is the point in having elections here if we are governed totally from over there.

After rapturous applause from the assembled crowd of impotent yes men and women who make up the weak conservative socialist party, Mr Cameron walked off the stage smiling like a Cheshire cat.