John Cleese Involved in Rickshaw Accident in Piccadilly Circus

LONDON - England - Monty Python veteran, John Cleese, was recovering today in hospital after being involved in a rickshaw accident in Piccadilly Circus, his agent has disclosed.

Mr Cleese, who was in the UK for a brief tour to pay for another divorce settlement, was involved in a rickshaw pileup on the junction between Regent Street and Piccadilly Circus.

No Christmas in heaven this time

Speaking from London’s Royal Free hospital in Hampstead, Cleese revealed more details about the horrendous crash which also resulted in two rickshaw drivers tragically losing their lives: “I had just left a Polish shop (Sklep) after buying some pickled cabbage, and was about to go to a Somali café next to where Fortnum’s used to be, when there was an almighty crash. At first, I thought to myself that I had bought it, and I would have to make a trip with the grim reaper, when I realised, no, there was no salmon mousse involved at all. These two buggering rickshaw wallahs had gone and crashed into a cow, well soon enough we had about a dozen coolies around us dragging the drivers out of their rickshaws, and they took them to a nearby lamp post near a kebab shop and lynched them there and then. I’m getting too old for this, I need to get back to Beverly Hills straight away.”

London is famous for its traffic jams and frequent multiple vehicle pileups.

“The beauty about the London roads is that no one knows where they’re really going plus you’ll have rickshaws, black cabs, buses, cows, goats, sheep and horse-drawn carriages. Pretty much every form of vehicle or animal on the road, all vying for the same spot. No one cares about traffic lights either, and the basic rule of the road is, whoever has the biggest vehicle or gun has the right of way,” Chandra Harami, a spokesman for London Transport told the BBC.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.