Former CIA Director Brennan Cleared For Clandestine Suicide Mission in Siberia

He may have had his CIA security clearance revoked by President Trump but former Central Intelligence Agency director John Brennan has been authorised for a one way trip to Siberia in Russia.

“I opened the mail this morning informing me that I have been chosen for a clandestine operation into Siberia to check out a heavily armed Russian missile installation; then to steal some heavily guarded secrets, radio them back to Virginia, then if I survive that, to cross the border on foot thousands of miles away chased by hundreds of Russian troops, tanks, dogs, and helicopters,” Brennan revealed to MSNBC.

The one way trip for the former Obama confidante is surely a suicide mission that comes from all the way up top.

According to MSNBC, Brennan has been told he will only be armed with a paperclip to unlock doors and disguised in the attire of a transexual Russian peasant farmer.

Some commentators speculate that this is a cynical ploy to get rid of Brennan who has controversially objected to Trump on social media, even going as far as calling the president’s actions with Putin as ‘treason’.

The Russians are however clueless to the planned clandestine mission and are not awaiting Brennan with machine guns aloft ready to mow him down at first sight.

When asked on Thursday whether he knew about the CIA mission deep into Russian territory, Putin simply smirked, then laughed out aloud.

Should he accept the mission? Well, in his retirement, he’s got nothing better to do, so why not? Might as well go out with a burst of AK 47 gunfire than a Twitter whimper.