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Bible Experts: Jesus Smoked Marijuana and Used Cannabis Oil For ‘Miracles’

COLORADO - USA - New findings from religious scholars reveal evidence that Jesus and his disciples smoked cannabis and used cannabis derived oils for miracle cures.

“If you smoke enough of this shit, you definitely will think you are Jesus the Son of God and can perform miracles,” one Bible scholar commented after toking on a large joint.

According to a team of Bible scholars from Colorado University, marijuana and cannabis oil were common place during the era of Jesus in Judea, and much of the population were whacked out on the stuff.

“Like say I smoked three joints off the cuff, then rubbed cannabis oil all over my body and I was on a mountain. It is highly likely I would see a burning bush and hear it talking to me. I mean this shit is so strong you hallucinate with it. If you have schizoid tendencies, you might even hear the voice of God telling you you have to sacrifice your own son to prove your unquestionable allegiance to the God. For fuck’s sake man, if someone did this shit today they would put them away permanently in an asylum…but because in the days of little or no science and goat herders, they put it in a book and called it the word of God.”

Cannabliss

Although the Christian Bible was written by unknown authors 400 years after the supposed events took place, it has been posited that many of the writers were on drugs too.

“From the rhetoric of the Bible which was written during the fall of the Roman Empire and its transition to Christianity, many of the mystics that wrote the stories were on cannabis. It was a staple drug for many writers because it was good for the imagination. Writing while whacked out on ganja opens up avenues never before seen, so these people were going on about fables and mysteries of the era and expanding on them. There are no records of Jesus ever existing, even though the Romans were meticulous record keepers for taxation purposes. One must understand that Jesus is an amalgamation of many deities from the region, and at the time of the fall of the Roman Empire, they really needed something to supersede the authority of the emperors.”

It was not only cannabis that many mystics took at the time, but psychotropic hallucinogenic substances derived from certain cacti, and plants. Harmal, Peganum harmala, was used all across the Middle East, not only as a mystical tool for hallucination but as a remedy for many ailments.

Most world religions are derived from altered states of consciousness, and the root for many religions that still survive today comes from early shamanistic practices from early tribes who travelled the plains. These shamans ingested hallucinogenic plant derivatives and cannabis as an aid to acquiring an altered state of consciousness.

“The process of grinding wild mushrooms, ingesting them then having an out of body hallucinogenic experience is as old as man itself. This dissociative state was seen as finding God. Basically, by taking mind altering drugs, man began to formulate their own religions from not only their surroundings but from their belief systems and expand upon these to create elaborate stories and religions. If you take enough drugs, you will see heaven, you will see hell and you will hear the words of God. Drugs are the channel to another state of awareness, and some say another dimension.”

 

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