Western World Shocked That Terror Atrocity Not Muslim

The Western media was scrambling to change their headlines as it transpired that the latest terrorist atrocity was committed by a Christian right-wing fundamentalist.

Drudge headlines screamed that it was a Muslim atrocity, as did all the other American mainstream news outlets, especially Fox just after it was initially reported.

“It’s got to be the Muslims. We need another round of hatred against them, it has been cooling off as of late. America has made Muslims the new Jews and we need to carry on with the campaign to destroy them. Oh, how I miss Georgie,” a foaming at the mouth Bill O’Reilly said on his Fox news show.

People all across the world are still in major shock that such an atrocity could be committed by a Christian.

“Well we only murder people from 30,000 feet using unmanned drones and cruise missiles. That’s safe and clinical. What this chap has done is way too personal. It’s not becoming of the removed way we commit mass murder in those countries where the darkies live,” Anthea Brunscombe, from Hampshire, England told the BBC.

George W. Bush, who now lives in a Texas convalescent home for retired war criminals, said: “I just got off the hotline to Dick and I ordered an attack on Sweden. We must stop these terrorists. Remember, either you’re with us or with the terrorists. Sweden and Norway, I think they’re somewhere in Yurp I heard. Uh, I need my meds. They have nuc-u-lear WMD’s and yella cake, or was it poundcake?”

The reporter had to tentatively tell the former president that he was not in office anymore and was met with a bemused look from Mr Bush.