World

ROYAL EXCLUSIVE: When Prince Harry Met the In-Laws

MONTANA - USA - Prince Harry had quite a pleasant surprise when he met Meghan Markle's extended family three weeks ago.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are soon to be wed, and as Meghan has met the Windsor family already, it was Prince Harry’s turn to meet the soon to be in-laws.

The prince travelled to deepest Montana three weeks ago to meet some members of the Markle clan and Doobey clan, as well as their extended family.

Speaking on an ITV exclusive, the prince was truly humbled after meeting some of the family.

Welcome to the family

“At one point one of them took out a vintage blunderbuss and shot a trespasser (photographer) on their land clean dead. It was quite a mess,” Prince Harry recalled jocularly.

Living in a shack were the cousins from the Doobey and Markle family. Uncle Buck Doobey, 65, is a wanted felon in seven states and was convicted for illegal moonshine production in 2016. He is also an alleged sheep rapist, and is to be tried in the county court in two weeks time.

Delores Markle, 42, sold her story to a New York tabloid for a six figure sum, and spilled the beans about ‘Pushy Princess Meghan’. She is set to buy a pig pen on her property with the funds she received.

“Imma raise some pigs to get me rich and fat. This shit is owed to me. Hyuk!”

Delores Markle, 42, points a gun at a photographer at her Montana property

Enus Doobey, 28, has been in and out of prison all his short life, and is currently on the run for credit card fraud, meth dealing as well as robbing seven banks unsuccessfully in four states.

“They’s told me that I might get an invite to Meghan’s wedding where they gots lots of silver and jewels and shiet. Unfortunately it never arrived in the mail. Imma have to catch that goddamn mailman next time I see the sumbitch!”

Living in a shack where most of the windows are broken, there is no running water, but there’s plenty of beer and meth.

“We live well here. Never worked a day in my life. Last time I saw Meg in L.A. we got on like a house on fire, that is I burned down her pa’s kitchen after a meth cooking experiment went wrong.”

Enus Doobey, relaxes in his kitchen while his father Buck drinks some home made beer

All in all, Prince Harry had a pleasant time on his visit to see the future in-laws, and at one point took part in a competition to see who could spit tobacco furthest.

The ITV special on the royal visit will air in July.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

ANALYSIS: Was Prince Harry Making a Statement in Latest Address?

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry made a new appearance wearing military medals on his…

6 hours ago

Triggered Woke People and Eco Zealots Encouraged to Choose Euthanasia

SCUNTHORPE - England - A Labour think tank details its proposals for the government to…

1 day ago

Rat Sadiq Khan Set to Win Again as Mayor of London

LONDON - England - The vile reign of rat Sadiq Khan as Mayor of London…

1 day ago

MI5 20 Years Too Late On Chinese Espionage at UK Universities?

OXFORD - England - The MI5 have finally got round to warning UK universities of…

1 day ago

Meghan Markle Sends Pint of Milk to 50 Celebrities

MONTECITO - USA - Meghan Markle has been busy milking and sending pints of the…

2 days ago

Illegal Migrant: “I want to go to Rwanda”

CALAIS - France - It seems that for many illegal migrants, being sent to Rwanda…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.