German Bombers Dropping Bean Sprouts Over London

LONDON - England - Londoners were embracing the blitz spirit tonight after the German Luftwaffe debuted their latest weapon against our proud nation.

Forget about V-1 doodlebugs, the new weapon of choice that is bringing fear and terror into the population is none other than the measly bean sprout.

Lieutenant Dan Harmondsworth, tells citizens to be vigilant: “We must fight them at the cliffs of Dover, we must fight them in our cities, and if they try and throw a few beansprouts in your wok, turf them out, because those pesky Jerries have put some rather nasty creatures in your grub.”

Keep Calm and Don’t Eat the Sprouts

According to reports from our radar stations on the coast, the Hun are sending over the bean sprouts with squadron’s of Heinkels.

“First they fly over the channel, then they get over Blighty, then they drop their payload of deadly bean sprouts all over the bloomin’ place. Remember to black out your windows and get to shelter if you can. Don’t run around with your mouth open because you could get a killer bean sprout in there which will cause you injury,” Reginald Braithwaite, 64, an air raid warden in East London told the Daily Mail.

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