World

Don’t Drop the Soap – Sarkozy in Le Prison

LE BASTILLE - France - Former French president, Nicolas Sarkozy has been put in prison and fears for the integrity of his booty.

Ooh la la! Mon dieu! Is it true, oui, c’est vrai! Nicolas Sarkozy, the former French president, has been put behind bars in prison.

Sarkozy is in custody as part of an investigation that he received millions of euros in illegal financing from the regime of the late Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi, according to a judicial source.

“I told him, he needs to clean the money. Sarko, would not listen to me and deposited the millions in a French bank. He thought he was untouchable because he was part of the French elite,” a former associate revealed.

Though an investigation has been underway since 2013, the case gained traction some three years later when French-Lebanese businessman Ziad Takieddine told the online investigative site, Mediapart, that he delivered suitcases from Libya containing 5 million euros in cash to Sarkozy and his former chief of staff Claude Gueant.

Investigators are examining claims that Gadhafi’s regime secretly gave Sarkozy 50 million euros overall for the 2007 campaign. Such a sum would be more than double the legal campaign funding limit at the time of 21 million euros.

In addition, the alleged payments would violate French rules against foreign financing and declaring the source of campaign funds.

French prisons are full to the brim of young African men who have not had a piece of ass for a long time, so Sarkozy will be fresh white meat thrown to the dogs.

“He better not pick up the soap in the showers,” a former inmate revealed.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.