World

Former Soviet Spy Jeremy Corbyn Could Use Poison to Silence Critics Say Terror Experts

LONDON - England - Terror experts have warned that former Soviet spy for Russia, Jeremy Corbyn (Agent Cob) could use poison on critics in parliament.

Jeremy Corbyn (Agent Cob) pictured outside the FSB Lubyanka building in Meshchansky District of Moscow, Russia. October, 2017

Former Soviet spy, Jeremy Corbyn, or as he was known ‘Agent Cob‘ could use poison to silence any critics of the Labour manifesto, and he could target opposition MPs if they question his communist ideals, a leading terror expert has revealed.

Michael Trimbell, who runs an anti-terror unit for different agencies, has revealed that Agent Cob is “a master in poison techniques, learned from his Cold War days spying for the Russians”.

“Russian spies, and Agent Cob’s Czech handler would have trained Agent Cob in various techniques to clandestinely kill adversaries without detection. This included concocting poison from everyday materials, then depositing it in the target’s drink. Agent Cob, would then watch from afar as his mark either keeled over on the spot or swerved around like a drunk. These techniques are utilised by today’s FSB, and yesterday’s KGB very successfully.”

KGB operatives could incapacitate opponents by usage of aerosol spray containing lethal cocktails of dangerous toxic gases or from afar with a silent air gun shooting a needle infused with poison into the victim. The tiny needle would enter the skin undetected, then dissolve. Once the poison gets into the bloodstream it kills the victim by stopping the heart, then dissipates without any trace, leaving doctors and forensic scientists labelling the death as a simple natural heart attack.

“One minute you’re walking along the High Street, the next your blood pressure drops, and you’re out of breath sweating like a pig. Then your heart stops. Voom! That’s it, and to compound the issue, absolutely no traces of how you died.”

MPs in Westminster are naturally quite fearful of Agent Cob, knowing his history and when he is around, they are advised to cover their drinks.

“If I see Jeremy shuffling his way around the canteen looking around, I immediately cover my drink. Here is an ex-Soviet spy who leaked secrets to the Soviets in the 1980s, and not only is he among us MPs, he is also the leader of the Labour party. Frankly, I find it exceedingly scary, just the thought that this traitor to Britain is in the Commons looking shifty,” a scared MP who dared to speak of Agent Cob, revealed anonymously.