Cruel CBS Bosses Stick Young Blonde Ex-Swimwear Model in Middle of Egyptian Mob

CAIRO - Egypt - In what has to be one of the cruellest attempts at news broadcasting, CBS bosses put a young female reporter in the midst of baying Egyptian rioters and were surprised when she was sexually assaulted.

Lara Logan pictured just before she was attacked in Tahrir Square

“We couldn’t believe it. We ordered this young beautiful reporter with her smooth pale skin and blonde hair to go bang into the middle of a mob of crazy Egyptians celebrating in Tahrir Square. They’d never been up close to such a beauty and in a country where women wear Burqas, we don’t understand how she was sexually assaulted multiple times only to be rescued by the Egyptian Army,” Ron Weinstein, senior segment producer for CBS news said from his luxurious office in Washington DC.

Surely the CBS hierarchy who order reporters into situations could not have been so naive?

“I don’t know how this could have happened. We ordered Lara Logan to go and report right in the middle of the sexually frustrated baying crowds of young Egyptian men. They must have thought it was Christmas, Ramadan and Hanukkah all rolled into one!” another CBS producer quipped before driving off in his Lamborghini Countach.

Next Week, CBS producers want to send Ms Logan into a Guatemalan jail armed only with a Polaroid camera and a skimpy blouse.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"