Al Qaeda Leaders Praise Obama on Record U.S. Deficit

A CAVE - Pakistan Border Region - Senior Al Qaeda terrorists have heaped praise on President Barack Obama for taking America's economy back to the stone age and beyond.

“Sheeit! We couldn’t have done it better. This dude has spent so much money on nothing that he’s created a big black hole of debt that no one can get out of. Spending millions on Air Force One, bogus bailouts and a Health Care system that is guaranteed to bankrupt America. Heck, his six day Hawaiian vacation cost the US taxpayer $24 million alone. We got to hand it to the boy. He done good, dammit!” Waqim al Sammarah, a high ranking Al Qaeda terrorist said on a tape released to Al Jazeera on Monday night.

Looking at the figures, even Bush junior didn’t get close to the spending spree Obama has gone on.

“You had the socialist Gordon Brown do the same thing in the UK. Now we got another socialist idiot tearing up the money and throwing it into a bottomless pit in the US. The former British PM Margaret Thatcher once said: ‘The trouble with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money’ and she was right on the ball with that one for sure,” Republican congressman, Edward Dean, said yesterday on Capitol Hill.

Another Al Qaeda operative, Musharef Al Binny, said on the tape: “Masha Allah to Obama. He has hit the U.S. with more bombs than we could ever hope for. Not only are they now bogged down in two quagmire wars that are costing them hundreds of millions of dollars per day, but they have a useless spendthrift wimp like Obama using up their cash like there’s no tomorrow. Who’s bankrolling this shit? Well, the Chinese of course — but for how long? Even they’ll get fed up sooner or later. Anyway, we want to thank the people that voted for Obama in the first place. Great job guys!” 

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