U.S. Main Export of Terror Doing Well Says Hillary Clinton

“Regime Change is a nice phrase, but we all know that it’s really ‘state sanctioned terrorism’ backed by the CIA. We’ve been doing it for years and we’re damn good at it. With Egypt, we pretend to back the ruling despot Hosni Mubarak, who we installed in the first place, but we also back militant leaders who want to take over. We did the same in Iraq, Tunisia, Iran and pretty much all of South America,” Mrs Clinton said at a recent press conference.

White House spokesman Ari Fleischner said: “We’re bringing Freedom to the Middle East. You know, on the end of a gun barrel. They now have more Freedom to kill themselves and that can only be a good thing. Remember folks, a dead towel-head is a good thing, and you heard it right from the White House.”

U.S. sanctioned terror has had a colourful history and has been instrumental in bringing terror, murder and mayhem to hundreds of countries worldwide.

“We don’t just export peanut butter and awful sitcoms, we’re experts in creating unrest around the world. We sell these people the weapons, then we start the fire, and then we sit back in our armchairs, break out the popcorn and Schlitz and watch it live on Fox,” Earl Huberstench, a political commentator said on his weekly radio show.

There have been some murmurs and noises from lame duck president Obama, but he’s been more interested in cowering under the desk in his office in the Oval room to do anything of any importance.

“Whenever I go into the Oval room I try and find Barry. I say ‘Hey man where are you?’ then I hear a noise from under his desk. He’s down there, his teeth chattering and he’s scared shitless, he doesn’t know what to do.” Vice President, Joe Biden, told CNN.