World

Scaramanga Vows to Get Back at Trump After White House Firing

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Donald Trump hailed “a great day at the White House” following the removal of communications director Scaramanga after just 10 days.

“I have invited Donald to my little secluded island off the coast of China for a duel to the death. I have a very special surprise for the Teflon Don, Nick Nack will greet him when he lands on the beach, and the deadly duel will start from there, of course only after a brief civilised luncheon,” the fired communications director, Scaramanga revealed on Tuesday.

Apart from being a deadly shot, Scaramanga also has a distinctive extra appendage to wow the ladies with.

“Yes, I have three nipples, it is a sign of greatness, and I also pride myself in being a paranoid schizophrenic.”

The President, who was instrumental in the firing of Scaramanga says he has accepted the invitation to the secluded island only on the proviso that he gets to take Goodnight with him back to the White House as his new plaything. Shush, don’t tell Melania.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    2 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    2 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    2 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    4 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    5 days ago

    This website uses cookies.