Assange Extradited to U.S. on Espionage Charges For Not Wearing Condom

LONDON - England - In another remarkable twist to the WikiLeaks story, crazed U.S. prosecutors are readying papers for WiliLeaks boss, Julian Assange's extradition because he didn't wear a condom during sex.

“He didn’t wear a rubber during a honey trap operation so we need to extradite him on espionage charges to the U.S,” a United States prosecutor said on Wednesday.

Mr Assange who is pleading that he converted to Catholicism, and thus was not required to wear a condom, is vowing to fight the espionage charges vehemently.

His lawyer said: “My client did not wear a condom during sex with two females who were ‘allegedly’ set up by the Americans to trap Mr Assange. He recently converted to Catholicism so we’re trying to figure out what the frickin’ problem is? My guess is that the yanks are yanking our chain over this shit.”

For now, the WikiLeaks hero is being held against his will in a British prison and has been refused any form of bail.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.