World

Melania: When Donald Farts He is Always a Gentleman

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Melania Trump has revealed in a Hello magazine exclusive that the president has a problem with flatulence, especially during important meetings.

 

“We were meeting the Saudi King when Donald let off a large ripping fart. We all waited for a second, then the smell wafted around. Imagine a bouquet of rotten eggs, sardines, mouldy cheese alongside curdling milk and fermenting sewage, and you get the picture. Naturally, my husband did the honourable thing and ignored it, whilst the Saudi King was seen retching and looking around wildly for an escape route.”

Mrs Trump, always the pleaser, also describes how her husband farts with such gusto in bed, that he actually stains the bed sheets, and they have to be changed every hour by White House cleaners.

“He eats the regular stuff. He has three or four steaks every day, lots of eggs and burritos by the dozen. We are not sure what is causing the problem as everything is organic and gluten free?” Melania Trump revealed in the interview.

With such a productive gut, there are concerns amongst White House aides on what could happen when the Trumps visit the Royal family in Britain in December.

“Royal protocol is rather strict however having a U.S President farting copiously in front of the Queen could be quite amusing and bring an air of comedy to proceedings. We are sure Her Majesty has seen and heard a lot more in her time, especially with the Duke and his legendary rippers,” palace spokesman, Giles Humble, revealed on Monday.

 

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    4 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    2 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    4 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    5 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.