WikiLeaks to Start Plumbing Service

The disillusioned WikiLeaks boss, Julian Assange, wants to start his own firm of plumbers, CIA analysts have claimed after many setbacks with his previous venture.

“If you’ve got a leaking sink, toilet or your boiler packs up in the dead of winter. Give WikiLeaks a call. For no extra charge, we’ll also tell you while we’re fixing your leak that the Americans were not very fond of Gordon Brown and Hillary Clinton is a lying lizard,” Mr Assange said whilst filming a promotional video for the new project.

The new WikiLeaks plumbing service will only initially service the Coventry area but they hope to branch out nationally within the year, as long as Assange is not extradited to Sweden to serve time for fabricated stories concocted by certain unnameable governments.