IMF Needs Emergency Bailout

“We’re all gonna die, we’re all gonna die!” Mr Strauss-Kahn yelped as he looked at the figures again.

With Greece and its 144pc of GDP debt threatening a debt-compound trap; Ireland, Portugal, Spain and Italy faltering, where is the money going to come from? How many bailouts can there be?

Contagion

“This is like a big Ponzi scheme crashing to the ground. The EU was always a very precarious stack of cards and all it took was a slight wind to blow the whole house down. We can’t bail everyone out. Who the f*ck’s going to bail us – the IMF – out?” Mr Strauss-Kahn muttered as he cried into his sodden newspaper.

Thanks to the likes of John Major, who refused pointblank to join the doomed euro single currency in the 1990’s, the UK is thankfully not using the cursed euro. If he had capitulated, the UK would be in the same dire mess the PIIGS and the rich European countries, who won’t be rich for much longer.

As the euro currency is slowly flushed down the toilet bowl of history, hopefully so will the European union with its unelected bureaucrats be flushed into the stinking sewer where they belong. Good riddance, bon débarras!