Corbyn Calls Boris Johnson a ‘Fopdoodling Old Scobberlotcher!’

SCUNTHORPE - England - After being called a 'mutton-headed mugwump' by Boris Johnson the other day, illiterate Labour party advisers have been scouring dictionaries for hours on end trying to find something suitable to shout back at the Conservative Foreign Secretary.

 

“We don’t usually look at dictionaries, our only reference book is George Orwell’s 1984, and the Karl Marx/Engels Manifest der Kommunistischen Partei translated into easy to read English.

“Mr. Johnson certainly caught us on the backfoot, and after much deliberation and debate, we came up with a suitable retort,” a Labour election adviser told the Guardian.

Today at a press conference in Scunthorpe, Jeremy Corbyn angrily took the microphone and called Boris Johnson a ‘fopdoodling old scobberlotcher’ to much laughter from the assembled comrades and proles.

When asked what those words meant, the Labour leader was absolutely clueless, as these are words he was told to say by his election campaign aides.

“As I said earlier, I only read communist books and manifestos. I have no time to read literature of any other kind, and when I am in power, most intellectuals and literate people will be executed, because we don’t like people cleverer than us around. They’re dangerous, and that Boris will be first on the gallows,” a determined Corbyn told the assembled crowd to much cheer.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    22 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    1 day ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.