EU Riots Hit by Austerity Bill

“We are urging EU
countries to only riot four days a week. This will give the authorities
time to rebuild the ruins so that the rioting can commence again the
week after,” Julio Asspierre, EU Commissioner for Rioting announced on
Wednesday.

At the moment Greece, Portugal and Spain are in full riot mode and Italy is just getting ready for a major riot for the weekend.

“It’s
physically exhausting. Just as one riot ends another one begins, so
we’re asking for austerity measures on the riots themselves,” Mr
Asspierre added.

The
riots are being precipitated by austerity measures on the respective
economies of EU countries and the riots have now been hit themselves by
austerity measures.

“Many
people are now confused about the austerity packages and simply riot to
get it out of their minds,” Gilles Villespanner, another unelected EU
bureaucrat told French newspaper, Le Figaro.