Obama Finds Jesus

NEW MEXICO - USA - On the campaign trail for the midterm elections, Obama has been ordered by his controllers to start talking about Jesus to get some votes.

“We got the boy talkin’ ’bout Jesus because he’s got to try and win some votes in the Jesus heartland if he wants to carry on being ‘prez’. Middle America, otherwise known as the ‘Fly Over Zone’, is crucial to Barack Hussein and lemme tell you folks, it’s the key to winning the midterm elections. They all think he’s a ‘muj’ without a birth certificate, so he’s gotta do something for heavens sake. Personally I see a lame duck president coming out of these elections — he wanted ‘change’, hell, he won’t have ‘change’ out of a dollar after these folk stick a few pitchforks in his gizzard,” Aloysius Bean, one of Obama’s campaign managers told the CNN network.

The ailing president has been on the campaign trail telling people through a teleprompter about his faith for Jesus. Going from city to city, the Obama campaign bus has been on the road non-stop for over a week.

“We don’t see him as a Christian. We see him as a Muslim pretending to be a Christian. Or even worse, some even call him an Atheist. Ann Coulter did because she knows that the God brigade hate them more than Muslims. She got her Adam’s apple in a twist over his ‘faith’. It’s all a big game anyway and it’s kinda fun to watch the ‘God botherers’ getting all bothered by it all. Some of them are even calling for him to change
his name to a more Christian sounding name, like Barry instead of Barack,” another prospective voter told CBS news.

Barakah – Blessing

Hussein – a descendant of the Prophet

Could this be the end of the Obama illusion, in which many brainwashed Americans were duped into voting for a mirage? Most probably, yes. As popularity polls go, Barack Hussein Obama has some of the lowest figures ever seen by a modern day president.

The truth is that under Barack Hussein Obama, America has become increasingly polarised, angry and is in the throes of a mass revolt. President Obama, is also so far removed from the ordinary American, that this alone will be the harbinger of even more defeat for the Democrats.

“The American people could relate to George W Bush because he was as dumb as a plank of wood. He couldn’t even string a coherent sentence together, but he sure as hell knew how to shoot at things. The son of a bitch knew how to go to war. This guy, Obama, is not even American. He’s certainly not Christian and he’s not white plus he doesn’t like shooting Muslims. That sums up the whole thing right there,” Dean Goosebilly, a Tea Party candidate for West Boston told Fox News’ Hannity Show on Thursday.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: jesusobama

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    1 day ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    2 days ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.