Hillary Clinton Eats Fly Off Obama’s Face

The president was speaking about the Affordable Care Act and the New Patients Bill of Rights in the East Room of the White House in Washington when the bluebottle fly landed on his cheek. Hillary Clinton, who was standing beside the president struck immediately and irradicated the problem fly much to the amazement of the crowd of reporters.

“She took one look at the fly which was going in and out of Obama’s mouth and she struck at it with her stretchy tongue. You see folks, Hillary has a tongue like a lizard and it was so goddamn quick we all just sat back in awe. No one even got a photo. She was standing at least three feet away and you should have seen the look of pleasure on her face when she swiped that fly with her special tongue and munched away. Obama was at first stunned, but immediately thanked Mrs Clinton for her help in getting rid of that pesky fly,” Arnold Grosspoint, a senior features editor for MSNBC reported.

There have been rumours circulating throughout Capitol Hill about Hillary’s extraordinary abilities to shapeshift – although anyone who has ever witnessed the amazing phenomenon has never been seen alive again – certainly little clues have pointed towards her other-worldly qualities.

“I was in her office on Monday morning and noticed a load of shed skin behind her desk. I think reptiles do the same thing once every few months,” Vice President Joe Biden remarked on Wednesday.