Funky Obama Photos Could Not Boost Democrat Massachusetts Votes

BOSTON - USA - Despite Barack Obama touting pictures from his youth in the 1970's against the nude photos of Scott Brown, the Democrats suffered a huge defeat at the hands of the Republicans.

“We thought we could beat that Scott Brown Cosmo shoot with some quality pics of Barry in his seventies funkateer suit which he wore in Studio 54 whilst dumping Quaaludes like they were vitamins. Dang, the Republicans got this waterboarding assclown to wave his balls around and the women voted. Shows how goddamn powerful that sh*t is. Obama just coudn’t cut it with that freaky suit and platform shoes. Nigga, looks like he was into some bad sh*t back in the day,” Arnold Silverman, one of the vote moderators told ABC news.

The Republican win has now jeapordised the Democrat stranglehold on the Senate as well as the trillion dollar Obamacare fiasco that may soon be buried in a deep grave next to Obama’s huge f*cking ego.

“Obama lost big time. He no longer walking on water, he be drowning in a sea of shit. This be’s some racist sh*t because he’s black and all the white folks they’s can be pay fo’ they’s own healthcare but we can’t, sho’ nuff they sho did vote some ‘n’ now we is all f*cked up now,” Shaquanda Wallace, 45, a resident of Ellis Pines in downtown Atlanta told the regional radio station yesterday.

Looks like Obama will have to now move to plan B to try and introduce the Healthcare reforms.

“Next time we have an election I’m going to get Michelle to get her booty out and show some of her chest off. Hell, might as well go the whole hog and slap ’em all out fo’ everyone to see. As long as we get the Healthcare thing through I don’t care,” the president told a White House press conference yesterday after the results came through.

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