Royal Mail: No Junk Mail and Bills Delivered for Weeks

“It will be like a breath of fresh air. No more junk mail and no more bills for a whole week, maybe even a month,” a Lewisham resident, Sam Qwerty, 78, told the Independent.

The brief reprieve in mass junk mail deliveries will ensure a collective sigh of relief across the nation.

“No more credit card bills, council tax demands, gas and electricity, water rates, car tax, car insurance, TV licence tax as well as the useless junk mail trying to sell me things I will never ever need. I used to feel utter fear when I heard the tell-tale noise of letters dropping through my letterbox. Well, thanks to our boys and gals at the Royal Mail we shan’t be having any deliveries for weeks, maybe months..it’s bloody marvelous it is,” Deirdre Hollingsworth, a retired widower struggling on her measly pension said yesterday.