Man Wins Nobel Prize for Doing Absolutely Nothing

“This is an amazing honour. I am truly humbled for winning this prize for doing fuck all. What do I get when I actually do something?” the bemused man said before stepping onto Air Force One.

Could this be something to do with ‘Change’? In this case there has been none.

War is Peace

One of the judges who voted on the prize panel said: “This guy just turned up out of nowhere. Hell, he doesn’t even have a valid birth certificate, so we just thought we would give him a Nobel Peace Prize instead.”

The prize winner is over the moon and retired to the Oval room to twiddle his thumbs and put his feet up on the desk.

“He’s lazy. He sleeps all day and most of the night. He wakes up and orders six buckets of chicken, walks on water for a bit then goes back to fucking sleep. The boy’s done shit all for the country let alone for the world. Shucks, who they gonna give the prize to next? Dubya? He deserves it more than this guy, but he actually did something like murder millions of people in cold blood and bring America’s economy to its knees,” a Pentagon official told CBS news today.