Harriet Harman: "Emasculation Key to Economic Success"

The man-hating harpy, Harriet Harman, today spoke of her disgust of all men in government and the City.

“I want all these snivelling men to be emasculated, they should all have their balls removed because they’re men. Once that happens, we can get our sisters to rise up once and for all and take what is rightly ours. The world will then be a fairer place for us to live and there will be no more wars, just discussions about whose wearing what and what kind of eyeliner is better. There will be no more economic crisis, because we shall all be at Brent Cross shopping with limitless credit cards, there shall be no more of those chauvinist pigs leching over our bodies because the men will not have any of their balls. Instead they shall be our slaves. We shall rise up sisters after many centuries of persecution and chaos, we shall take power and save the planet from their testosterone laden disease.”

Ms Harman who is currently overseeing the running of the country because prime minister Gordon Brown is away on holiday at his dacha in Grimsby, is on the warpath as the Minister for Women and Equality and even plans on changing her surname to ‘Harperson’ to show her PC credentials.

“I am going to change my name from ‘Harman’ to ‘Harperson’ because every time I see or hear that name it is like being raped by one of those chauvinist pig men. I hate men, can you imagine having a ‘man’ in your surname? Oh, the irony. I blame my father who was of course a bloody man. Well, from now on call me Harperson, or why not just call me Harpy.”