Plague of Locusts Will Descend on Britain After Brexit Say EU Leaders

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Britain would become a wasteland of locusts with no grass or shrubs, EU leaders have revealed if the British people choose to leave with a Brexit.

“Consider this mein Britisher friends. If you leaffe you vill see locusts as big as birds flying in their millions over your crops and your stupid little countryside,” Gunther Clossfein, an unelected EU official revealed smiling awkwardly.

The Romanian Foreign Minister, Laszlo Pikpokt, also assured destruction on Britain if it dared stop the benefits bonanza his countrymen are benefiting from so greatly.

“The locusts will be more numerous than Romanians streaming across your borders daily. You will never see a blade of grass ever again if you do Brexit and stop the gravy train. Big Issue! Big Issue!”

The French, however were rather sanguine about all the threats but still chose to add one any way.

“Merde. Vous rosbifs do not get it do you? If you vote Brexit half of France rich people will move to Britain as well as other rich people from EU countries for haven. Do not do it mes enemies. Ah, we do not like rich people any way!”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.