BREAKING NEWS: Unhinged Trump Finally Loses it On Campaign Stage

COLUMBUS - USA - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has shot himself in the head during a campaign performance that left many in the crowd sick.

 

The harrowing incident was watched by thousands at the event before cameras were ordered to be switched off and Trump’s security detail tried to save the unhinged reality TV celebrity’s life to no avail.

“He got on stage and he was babbling as he does, talking about the usual narcissistic gibberish. He took out a gun and said he’s doing so great that he could shoot anyone in the audience and still lead the polls, that’s when he began trembling and jibber jabbing, foam came out of his mouth and he put the gun to his temple. He pulled the trigger and there was a muffled bang and some of his brains fell on the podium sliding off onto a bald man’s head sat in the audience. Goddamn I nearly puked. Good thing we never voted for him but it was close, can you imagine such a crazy dude with his finger on the nuke button?” a visibly shaken Rhonda McDougal told Fox5 news.

Mr. Trump was rushed to a local hospital but was pronounced dead on arrival.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    21 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    1 day ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.