Jihadist Explodes With Love in Trafalgar Square

Witnesses say the jihadist started shaking uncontrollably and ripped his coat off whilst reciting words that no one could understand.

“I saw him he looked a bit funny. Then his eyes rolled up in ecstasy and he was blowing kisses at every one. Everyone could feel the love, it was as if sprinkles of multicoloured dust were flying off him, then when he ripped his jacket off we all ran because we thought it was a suicide vest, but it was a t-shirt with a peace sign on it and the word L-O-V-E on it. That’s when he exploded, like a trillion fireworks undulating across the square and sky, a sonic boom where we saw the blast waves ripple through the crowd. Everyone started hugging each other, black, white, whatever, we even saw a rabbi suddenly hug a Muslim man giving him a big smacker on the cheek. Man, that was the most amazing high I ever felt, better than any drug. Shit, I’m still tripping right now,” Miles Brigstow, 28, a student at UCL who was in the square at the time told the BBC.

The Metropolitan Police and bomb squad who attended the scene of the love blast never found any remains of the jihadist apart from a few wisps of glowing embers.

Meanwhile, in Syria, the martyr was denounced as a kook and someone not in tune with the Jihadist cause of hatred.