CUMBRIA - England - Shocked locals have not only woken up to massive floods but crocodiles swimming in their High Streets.
“It’s that climate change they’ve all been going on about, innit,” Dave Cockermouth, 32, from Cumbria said after wading through what used to be his High Street.
David Attenborough just flew in to the town of Crummock to check out the crocs for a new episode of Planet Earth featuring the flooded croc infested streets of Cumbria.
“Fascinating. We have witnessed about twenty of these crocodiles, possibly the snub nosed Crocodylus cumbriactus. These waters are a perfect environment for them to flourish.”
Luckily no one has been hurt or eaten by the crocs who can grow to a length of 6 feet, but one woman had her Aldi bag snatched by a hungry crocodile who then consumed the contents including a Shepherd’s pie and trifle pudding right in front of the shocked woman.
PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.
GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…
SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…
SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…
SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…
SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…
This website uses cookies.