Pope ‘Spreading Fear’ of Catholic Priests

ROME - Italy - The Pope has been condemned by his own clergy for arguing that mankind needed protection from homosexual paedophile Catholic priests much as the rainforest needed protecting from environmental damage.

They usually prey on unsuspecting choir boys in the vestry, they are well known for grooming young boys with sweets and promises of Jesus’ penance.

Yes, the Catholic priests who have vowed celibacy are a threat to the worlds church congregations and must be stamped out.

“Buggery has been a tradition that the church has closely guarded for many centuries. It is strange that the Pope seems to be railing against this Catholic tradition. Catholic priests are some of the most perverse, debased individuals on this planet. I have seen some of the most degenerate deviants tremble in fear when in the presence of a Catholic priest, because they know that they are nothing compared to the priest in abhorrent deviancy,” a Vatican source told the World Priests Federation Newspaper.

The Rev Felcher Arbuthnot, vicar of St Felchinton’s Church in Putney, southwest London,
and founder of the pro-Catholic Priest Inclusive Church movement, said: “I am extremely
disappointed. This is not much of a Christmas message. This will not change
anyone’s mind. Homosexuality, paedophilia, buggery and debauchery are a church tradition which has lived on for thousands of years.”

The pope who was a member of the Hitler Jugend brigade when he was a child, is well known for conducting dark rituals within the catacombs deep under the Vatican.

“Obviously the Pope is trying to change the image of the Catholic church as a cesspit of base perverse behaviour to one of a more civilised image. I’m not sure whether this PR stunt will work. I mean look at his face. It’s a picture of evil and satanic debauchery that brings fear into everything it gazes upon,” Max Clitford told the Sun newspaper.