Europe Prepared For Sharia Law

BRUSSELS - Belgium - The European Union is committed to integration of Sharia law under Islamic teachings, and is preparing the public for major changes due to the mass migration from the Middle East.

The world is changing at breakneck speed and so are the laws governing the EU.

European technocrats are preparing the continent for Sharia law as the pace of migrants from the Middle East and Africa increases daily.

Speaking from Brussels, Jens Toldtars, an EU official revealed that many things will have to change as Europe accepts millions of new people.

“Women will have to be more modest in their attire as showing any skin is strictly haram, there will not be any alcohol and Fridays will be the time of prayer as the Muezzins make their calls to visit the mosques. These are just the small things that will change. No more pork, ham or sausages, this order may be hard for the Germans, but they will get used to it, especially as the punishment for not adhering to these laws is being beaten or stoned. Adulterers will be stoned, thieves will have their hands chopped off and we are currently discussing how to go ahead with beheading, we may re-introduce the guillotine as it is a far more efficient, less messy way of conducting executions.”

Under Islamic law men are allowed to have up to twenty wives each, and women are not allowed to drive vehicles under some severe regimes like Saudi Arabia. As of yet, the EU is under consultation with Islamic scholars on how best to implement the new laws.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.