Lord Ashcroft: “I’m Okay!”

LONDON - England - Lord Ashcroft, author of the explosive biography of David Cameron, suffered a life-threatening illness a day after the book was serialised, it emerged last night.

“At least I’m not Russian, I hear they deal with people like me with cups of polonium. I’ll be okay, the mysterious illness that shut down half of my organs and nearly killed me only made me stronger,” the ex-Tory supporter told the Guardian.

The 69-year-old billionaire’s 18-day illness occurred immediately after he published a tell-all book on Tory leader David Cameron causing major kidney and liver failure, leaving him battling for his life.

“No one knows what happened. One minute I was fit as a fiddle and the next I was close to death, it happened very quickly. The doctors do not know what happened either,” Lord Ashcroft revealed yesterday.

Suffice to say there were no Get Well cards from Cameron or any other Tories.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee.
  • First they came for the Satirists
  • And I did not speak out
  • Then they came for the...
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Homeless Fergie Found Under Waterloo Bridge

    LONDON - England - Yes, you guessed correctly. It's under Waterloo Bridge for the former…

    23 hours ago

    Prince Andrew: “Why is it just the Brits in the Epstein files?”

    DUBAI - UAE - Prince Andrew decries why the Epstein files mainly focus on the…

    1 day ago

    Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

    3 days ago

    Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

    5 days ago

    Open Borders Socialist Spain Fast Tracks Half a Million Illegal Migrants Coming to UK

    MADRID - Spain - The far-leftist socialist government has fast-tracked citizenship for over half a…

    5 days ago

    Socialist Tory Party Disgusted as Conservative Defects to Brigand Bandit Group

    LONDON - England - Comrade Badenoch of the Socialist Tory Party is very angry that…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.