Ku Klux Klan to Hold Obama Love Parade When He Wins Election

“We feel nothing but love for Barack, he has brought us into the new light, the black light of love. Peace be upon him and we know that America is going to rise once again from the ashes of George W Bush’s mistakes, I know Mr. Obama is uniting our people together. Once we were mortal enemies, today we shake hands and smile. May Jesus bring peace upon him,” Vinton McNeill, leader of the Blount County, Alabama Klan group told the Daily Squib.

All across America, the many branches of the KKK are uniting to show their love and solidarity for Senator Barack Obama.

After publically endorsing Obama over Hillary Clinton in February of this year, the Klan has fought a solid PR battle to entrench their new allegiance with the American people’s favourite, Barack Obama.

It seems the introduction of a gun-toting, creationist, lipstick-wearing psychopath by the Republican spin machine has barely dented the Obama Klan affiliation. In fact, the introduction of Sarah Palin by the ailing Republicans has merely strengthened the love between the Klan and Obama.

“The Republicans played a good game, they thought by introducing Sarah Palin they could muddy the waters between Barack and the Klan. They were wrong, we are now a Klan of love and peace. We have thrown our arms down, we have thrown our lynching ropes down, we have thrown our burning crosses down. Instead of these symbols of hate, we now embrace symbols of love, like flowers, pot pourri and tie dye shirts,” Emmitt Richardson, Kludd of the Bayou Knights of the Ku Klux Klan told the Daily Squib, whilst taking a hit from a huge bong at his Bayou Lafourche log cabin home in Mississippi.

After pouring thousands of dollars into the Obama campaign fund, has the Klan made the right decision, have they backed the right candidate? “We believe Obama is the next coming, he could be the next Messiah. We see the end times coming and we know that the rapture will take us up to be with Jesus soon enough. Obama is our saviour, our last chance to repent before the big one comes. This is why we believe in love now and not hatred. Here in our compound we have even brought in negroes to live amongst us, this would be unheard of a year ago, and now it’s happening.”

Today there will be another march through the town centre to reiterate the point, that the Nu Ku Klux Klan want to make — “Make Love Not War”.

African Americans who have been persecuted by the Klan for hundreds of years are still on the whole cautious about the transformation of one of the most feared race-hate groups in America. The sentiment, however, within the black community is one of positivity towards the Klan’s new doctrine of love and kindness.

“Hell, I used to fear the Klan whenever we saw them coming through this here way with their burnin’ crosses and shit. But now, we got no bad blood but love ya’ll see. They now come through here and throw dollars and flowers at us. They changed I tell you. It’s like they realised Jesus’ teachings and how we should accept all men and women and it don’t matter what colour or creed you is. The Ku Klux Klan finally read the bible and know that we all God’s children, we were all made from the same piece of clay on the sixth day or something like that,” Shaqeela Ebony, 45, a crack addict from Tyewhoppety, Kentucky told the Daily Squib.