Madonna to Adopt New Husband in Africa

LONDON - England - Pop star, Madonna is to adopt a new husband from Africa after ditching Guy Ritchie.

Pop megastar Madonna is to adopt a new husband from an underprivileged part of the world.

The mum of four will travel to Africa and test males to see if they are worthy of adoption by the great Madonna.

The stringent testing will involve mega sessions in bed with the 56 year old woman and rigorous body examinations to determine durability.

“Madonna will personally test all the males to see if they’re up to scratch. Her libido is immense and she sometimes needs to be sated 10 – 15 times a day,” a spokesman for her Management company told us.

The Madonna adoption convoy left London three weeks ago and is slowly snaking its way through Mali after passing through Morocco then cutting through Mauritania.

If Madonna does not adopt a husband by that time they will carry on across to Chad passing through Niger then down to Gabon, Angola and Zaire.

By that time if she still has not found an adopted husband they will carry on to Tanzania, Mozambique then finally ending in Lesotho deep inside of South Africa.

African countries have been bristling with advertising announcing the “Madonna New Husband Adoption Convoy”.

Ngiri Omdongo from Zaire has set about preparing his friends for the Madonna meetings that will take place next month: “She is like royalty for us and if she picks one of us it will bring great riches and honour to our village. We will be living in London and Beverly Hills and drive fast cars woo hoo! The only painful thing we have to do is service the old granny every few hours, yes we can deal with it!”

One of the requirements Madonna has stipulated is that her new husband like her previous one, has to walk three steps behind her whenever they travel together and that they have to be quiet if addressed, only speaking if their opinion is required. She has also stipulated that no ’emotional retards’ should apply, unfortuantely that rules out most men on the planet.

“She will still be looking to adopt a young husband, but this time from an African background. It will also be good for little Banda who will have someone to play with,” the spokesman for her Management company reiterated.

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