Sarah Palin Honoured at George W Bush University

TEXAS - USA - Prospective Vice President, Sarah Palin was honoured today for her contribution to outstanding intellect and world knowledge. The Alaskan Governor received a Doctor of Wars from George W Bush University in a ceremony at Abu Ghraib College.

The George W Bush University of Higher Learning is a seat of excellence
that has demonstrated many incredible feats of academic and technical
prominence.

Established by George W Bush in 2003, the university has even given Princeton and Harvard substantial competition.

The universities patron and founder, the current
President of the United States was on hand himself to present the honorary
degree to Mrs Palin.

Speaking from the universities grand hall, the President was pictured looking
as scholarly as ever and positively professorial in his demeanour. 

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. If one’s proclivities and sensibilities towards the cum laude tribute of our esteemed guest, Sarah Palin does not fall within the parameters of angular momentum and venerable integrity, then beat me with a bunch of freshly picked bananas. Her geographical knowledge is second to none, just last week she informed me over a cup of Earl Grey that she could positively identify Europe on a map. I then went on to ask her what she thought the ‘credit crunch’ was. She tentatively replied — a type of biscuit. Indeed, and I produced from underneath the table some freshly baked ginger nuts for her consumption. I then asked her who the terrorists were. This was the clincher my fellow alumnae, she replied: “Anyone who is not a White Right Wing Creationist Homicidal Gun-toting Moose-eating Gas-guzzling Fox News Watching American.” Well, there you have it, her candidacy and qualifications for the honorary Doctorate are immaculate.”

Palin, 44, who has proudly reduced the entire population of the Alaskan moose down to three solely by herself last winter has also given her backing to research
into causing more worldwide war and conflict with insular and ignorant foreign policies.

“I
am extremely honoured to be receiving this honorary degree from such a
distinguished university,” she said, “with such a dynamic
international reputation.”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: sarah palin

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    12 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    2 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    4 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    5 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.