‘We Got Him’

‘Ladies and Gentlemen — We Got Him!’

The tired, bloated figure of OJ Simpson was shown on giant TV
screens today to prove the former football and Hollywood star had been captured
alive and finally sentenced by a U.S. court after thirteen years on the run.

America’s chief administrative Judge in Las Vegas Paul Bremer walked to
the rostrum of a casino courtroom press conference and uttered the words:
“Ladies and Gentlemen, We Got Him!” There were cheers from the
assembled press corps. Bremer described it as “A great day for America.”

OJ was found hiding in a “spider hole” in the
cellar of a rural farmhouse near the Western Las Vegas town of Groom Lake 15
miles south of Las Vegas, by 600 troops from the U.S. 14th Infantry
Division. Operation Catch OJ struck at 8.30 p.m. local time catching Simpson and his entourage almost “unawares”. No shots were fired.

There were more whoops and gasps when a video was shown of Simpson being given a brief medical examination. Nicole Simpson’s and Ron Goldman’s relatives in the room
screamed insults at the screen and punched the air in triumph.
Police Lieutenant Ricardo Burrito, commander of casino
forces in Las Vegas, told the Clark County Regional Justice Center that OJ Simpson was cooperating with the authorities. “There will not be anymore long car chases in a white truck televised for everyone to see. He’s going to jail this time for good.”

News first broke when a spokeswoman for U.S. police
forces in Las Vegas said a “very important” announcement would be made at
a news conference at 1200 GMT. The only comment was that there had been
several arrests including “a high-value target”.