Mugabe Surprised to Win Election Again

HARARE - Zimbabwe - Robert Mugabe has been taken aback at the vote tally after a close election contest after being pleasantly surprised to have won by such a massive landslide.

Robert Mugabe has been holding celebrations after his landslide win for the election run-off in Zimbabwe.

The election was hard fought between the two campaigning candidates: Robert Mugabe and Robert Mugabe.

Luckily for Robert Mugabe, he won this time and said this about his astounding win: “After a hard fought democratic election, I am happy to announce that I have won again. This was a close call because the other candidate, Robert Mugabe, nearly pipped me at the post.”

Mr. Mugabe received a congratulatory phone call from unelected British PM Gordon Brown yesterday on the eve of his spectacular win.

Next week there will be a swearing-in ceremony — where everyone swears at Robert Mugabe under their breath and wishes on a deadly bolt of lightning.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: africa

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    23 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    1 day ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.