Grave News as Supreme Leader Comrade Brown Hospitalised

CREWE - England - Our great supreme leader Gordon Brown has been taken ill after eating some tainted cabbage soup whilst touring the Soviet State of Britain.

Condolences for our great unelected leader

It was after dining at the Crewe and Nantwich sector during the tour of Soviet Britain that our great unelected comrade was taken ill.

Our supreme commander was attending a presentation of the British Soviet Agricultural  revolution in the Crewe and Nantwich sector when he was invited to sup on some of the food that the proletariat exist on. Comrade Brown is very proud of the British Soviet forced collectivization of agriculture that he has pioneered and the wonderful delights of simple proletariat foods.

“Comrade Brown was presented with some of the local specialty prole food, Crewe cabbage soup and a delightful side dish of cabbage pickle washed down with a gulp of weak local ale. He looked alright after consuming it and gave an almighty burp and a hearty laugh at the joys of eating food that the proletariat consume,” commissar for agriculture Hilary Benn said.

Comrade Brown was then taken ill during the inspection of the British Peoples Soviet potato display. It seems that bourgeois elements spouting their useless democratic diatribes may have infiltrated the Crewe and Nantwich Soviet agricultural festival and sabotaged the supreme comrade’s cabbage feast.

Politburo officials cordoned off the area and are combing the vicinity looking for anyone wearing a top hat and tails.

We wish our supreme comrade Brown a speedy recovery from this minor setback to his ten year plan as an instrument to the Age of Change and British Soviet Cultural Revolution.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    1 week ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.