Comrade Gordon Brown Denounces Traitors to Era of Change

Speaking from the Westminster duma, Comrade Brown addressed true believers in the era of change and denounced the “vile dogs of Blairism and traitorous brigands to the new Brown vision of Labour”.

“Comrades, Labour party faithful and true believers in the Brown era, commanders and political instructors, men and women workers, men and women collective farmers, intellectuals, brothers and sisters in the enemy rear who have temporarily fallen under the yoke of the vile Blairite brigands, our glorious men and women guerrillas who are dedicated to the cause of the Bolshevik Labour Red Army. (Laughter and applause.)

On behalf of the Labour Government and our Bolshevik Party I greet you and congratulate you on the anniversary of the 10th month of the great June Socialist Revolution.

Today our country is in a far better position than it was 10 months ago under the lickspittle swine and peddlers of Blairism. Today it is many times richer in fuel taxes, taxes for the poor, taxes for the rich, more fuel taxes, council taxes and income taxes. Today we do not have any allies left to fight alongside us but comrades, let me tell you, we do not need them anymore. Today we enjoy the State Banking system which Comrade Darling has created on my orders. Today we have a splendid cut-down army and a splendid tin-pot navy, defending the freedom and independence of our one party system. Today we have millions of Soviet Britons who are now living in clone Eco villages not blighted by such frivolities as individualism and self-ownership. (Cries of approval and applause.)

Those who do not subscribe to my New Vision of Change and have already shown their despicable colours by bad mouthing my leadership will be re-educated in one of our Special Bolshevik Eco Camps up north.”  (Loud and sustained applause and cheers. All rise and turn towards the government box, to
which Comrade Brown proceeds from the platform. Voices: “Hurrah for
the great Brown!” “Hurrah for Comrade Brown!” “Long live Comrade Brown!” “Long live the first of the Leninists, candidate for the Soviet of the Briton, Comrade Brown! Hurrah!” )

After our wonderful leader’s speech had ended the traitors were led away with their heads bowed in shame as the party faithful jeered and spat at the vagabonds.

Ivan Lewis, the Ex-Health Minister, and Gerry Sutcliffe, the Ex- Soviet Sports Minister tried to escape the traitors parade at one point but were put back in their place firmly by Stasi officials.

Let this be a lesson to any other dissenters of the Comrade Brown Vision of Change.