Viscount Linley to Present Supermarket Sweep

The British Royal family have made rare sojourns onto our TV screens in the past with shows like It’s a Knockout and the odd public ceremony but until now no member of the Saxe Coburg Gothas have had the privilege of fronting their own show.

TV bosses for ITV1 have now commissioned the supermarket show that has been running for many years on daytime TV to be taken over by Viscount Linley.

“Dale Winton is to move on from presenting Supermarket Sweep and is already filming the celluloid version of Are You Being Served which is set for release in July and produced by Grundy TV,” Jim Allinson, the excited director of the movie revealed last week during pre-production talks set in the world famous Grace Brothers department store in central London.

A producer for ITV1, Janice Pansy describes the show on the official website:

“Supermarket Sweep is a wonderful TV show where three teams of contestants attempt to earn as much time on their
clocks as possible by answering product and price related questions.
Each team begins with one minute on their cock, but can earn 10
seconds for answering one of Dale’s easy-peesy questions about food or
Heat-style celebrity gossip. The first member of each team plays the
first two rounds, they swap over for the next two, and the “Round
Robin” free-for-all at the end involves the players pointlessly
swapping positions after every single question.Then the real fun begins when there is a free for all with the shopping trolley as contestants try to stuff as much as they can into their trolley. Dale usually gets a few kisses at the end from the contestants and is sometimes fondled by the male contestants much to his enjoyment.”

The new presenter will surely bring a right royal twist to the show and remember campers: “The next time you’re at the checkout and you hear the beep..
[bip-bip], think of the fun you could be having on Supermarket
Sweeeeep!”