Bill Clinton Portrait Sells at Sotheby’s

The portrait of Bill Clinton painted by celebrated French artist André Gille Rais is called fumer le cigare and was snapped up for a mere $2.3 million by an anonymous phone bidder.

The collection belongs to the Clintons and has been put up for auction so that Hillary can raise more funds for her ailing campaign. She will certainly be glad to be rid of the portrait once and for all.

“We need all the help we can get for Hillary’s campaign; every penny counts,” a desperate looking Hillary Clinton supporter told the Daily Squib.

Last week Barack Obama raised $50 million whilst Hillary raised a paltry $238.65.

Tobias Mayo, the evening’s auctioneer and director of Sotheby’s contemporary art department, said there had been “high-quality hunger from a global audience hungry for US election memorobilia.”

Michael Kohner, a Los Angeles art dealer, said he bid for “purely aesthetic” reasons and hadn’t realised the portrait was of Bill Clinton about to be fellated until after he started bidding.

“That’s when I quit bidding and I had to leave the room because of my nervous twitch. I took some of my medication and then returned.” It certainly is not a good idea to attend an auction with a nervous twitch.

Other items that went under the hammer were a blue dress with a large white stain on it, a box of cigars and a White House memo request for a saucy brunette intern who can suck a golf ball through a hose.