Drudge Report Puts Prince Harry in Afghan Warzone Danger

HELMAND PROVINCE - Afghanistan - Prince Harry has been put in extreme danger by the headline crazy American Matt Drudge after revealing the Prince's whereabouts on his tour of duty in the Afghan warzone.


**World Exclusive**

Bungling American sensationalists the Drudge Report have put Prince Harry’s life in danger by revealing that the Prince has been in Afghanistan for the past three months.

The Ministry of Defence was left reeling today by the blatant disregard for the safety of the heroic Prince.

The Prince, a junior officer in the Blues and Royals and third in line to the throne, has been a “magnificent soldier” and an “inspiration to all of Britain,” an MOD spokesman said.

The Drudge Report reveals that the Prince has been holed up in a concrete bunker for three months deep within the bowels of a heavily guarded fortress somewhere in Helmand Province.

Harry is surrounded by his own personal regiment of combat hardy Ghurkas guarding him at all times as well as a regiment of SAS soldiers.

‘Harry the Hero’

Prince Harry has spent the time playing video games on a surveillance system the army dubs ‘Kill TV’.

“The brave Prince is very proficient at the game which involves pinpointing anything that moves on a surveillance drone and calling in an F-16 attack to blow up the target,” reveals Commander James Butterworth.

He has in the last month alone blown up 43 goat herders, a troupe of travelling prosthetic limb salesmen and some endangered peregrine falcons.

Last week the Prince, who was allowed out of the heavily fortified compound for a few hours on a reconnaissance photoshoot, played the part of a brave soldier very well and posed with his gun in the dusty compounds courtyard.

Yesterday a spokesman for Clarence House said: “This is utterly irresponsible behaviour from the American media. It is not good news to hear that Prince Harry will now be in danger in a warzone.”

Prince Harry’s dad is very proud of his son and also comes from an illustrious military heritage. Major James Hewitt was however not available for comment because he had drunk one too many the night before in some Gloucestershire dive.

Prince Harry is a long way away from Boujis and Amika and because of this security breech he may well be reunited with a jug of vodka sooner than he thinks. Huzzah!

Developing…

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee.
  • First they came for the Satirists
  • And I did not speak out
  • Then they came for the...
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Homeless Fergie Found Under Waterloo Bridge

    LONDON - England - Yes, you guessed correctly. It's under Waterloo Bridge for the former…

    6 hours ago

    Prince Andrew: “Why is it just the Brits in the Epstein files?”

    DUBAI - UAE - Prince Andrew decries why the Epstein files mainly focus on the…

    13 hours ago

    Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

    2 days ago

    Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

    4 days ago

    Open Borders Socialist Spain Fast Tracks Half a Million Illegal Migrants Coming to UK

    MADRID - Spain - The far-leftist socialist government has fast-tracked citizenship for over half a…

    4 days ago

    Socialist Tory Party Disgusted as Conservative Defects to Brigand Bandit Group

    LONDON - England - Comrade Badenoch of the Socialist Tory Party is very angry that…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.