David Miliband Still Having Trouble With Knife in Back

NEW YORK - USA - Exiled former Labour minister, David Miliband has spoken of harrowing times living with a knife permanently lodged in his upper back.

Former Labour politician, and brother of the current Labour leader, David Miliband has spoken of his deep anguish, especially with the deep wounds received over the fight for the leadership of the party.

“I still have this knife in my back. Ed slammed it into my back and I’m getting rather sick and tired of it. I sleep on my front, I have trouble going through revolving doors, and the other day the knife got snagged on a clothes line.

“My wife has been very understanding, and she says she doesn’t notice it so much any more. My tailor, a nice Bangladeshi man, has even tailored some unique suit jackets for me, you know with a little slit so the knife slips through no problem.

“Metal detectors, well I have had trouble with them, but I explain to the guards how the knife got there, and they let me on through. God knows, I’ve tried to pull the damned thing out but to no avail.”

You must read this article whilst listening to the song Backstabbers by the O’Jays

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