General Petraeus Updates George W Bush on Successful US Defeat in Iraq

ANBAR PROVINCE - Iraq - The Americans have declared The Surge a victory for US failure in Iraq. The US is now officially winning the defeat and have proudly proclaimed success in losing the war.

After Gen. David H. Petraeus updated the Supreme Commander in Chief of the western world, George W Bush, last Monday there was further clarification on the level of defeat that has been meted out to US forces in Iraq.George W Bush has praised General Petraeus in engineering the successful failure of the Surge which was intended to quell insurgant attacks on the fortified US forces and bring stability to war-torn Iraq.In the South, the British have successfully retreated to the airport and handed over their duties to the Iraq police. These duties include being killed and maimed by IED’s, being blown to bits by suicide bombers and being constantly mortared to death.

George W Bush, having met Abdul-Sattar Abu Risha when he visited Iraq last week, ensured his immediate assassination by aligning the US with him. They do not call him the reverse Midas Touch President for nothing.


The President said he expects to be able to
reduce troop levels to pre-surge levels by next summer and said it is
possible to achieve U.S. objectives in Iraq over the next 300-400 years.


Every district in liberated Baghdad is now separated by concrete walls

Appearing with Petraeus was U.S. Ambassador to Iraq Ryan Crocker. “There is one single moment at which we can claim victory. And that is in our utter and total failure in Iraq,” he said.

House Republicans maintained that failed military achievements in Iraq warrant further investment and faith in the president’s defeated policies.

“The increased presence of this force in Iraq has produced greater anarchy and destruction, so let’s be honest: the military surge is truly winning in failure,” said Armed Services ranking Republican Duncan Hunter, R-Calif.

 

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: iraqwar

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.