Merkel: “Syriza, Podemos, 5 Star Movement, Will Not Stop Austerity”

The inevitable rise of extreme left and right wing anti-austerity parties in Greece, Italy, France and Spain do not threaten Germany’s authority in the EU, and are a small blip on the economic scale, says Chancellor Merkel.

“The founder of the EU, Jean Monnet, always said that economic/political crisis would be utilised to bring ever closer union within the EU, and we precipitated this crisis. These Marxists cannot fight an entity that is both Marxist and Fascist as the EU. We have amalgamated every political doctrine into our policies and cannot be defined by left or right. The EU is a bigger technical entity than many could imagine.

“Syriza, you are part of our game, and you fooled the Greek people very well. You have ensured the enslavement of your people and you will be honoured for your trickery, thank you. Our plans are still intact.

“Podemos, now it is your turn to fool the Spanish people as the Greeks were so easily fooled. We will help you rise in secret.

“Italy’s 5 Star Movement, talking of movements, I had a wiener schnitzel last night that disagreed with my bowels, but back to the subject, you too will rise and we will help you to take over. We will feign opposition.

“In France, we have many avenues, and these will all be exploited for our gain.

“Austerity my dear sheep is simply another name for poverty, we are re-introducing feudalism to Europe. You will have smart metres forcibly installed in all properties enforcing limited energy usage, you will have rations of food, and we will introduce for your own safety, of course, internal micro chipping so that you and your children can be safe.

“As for the British, they will never leave the EU. It would be financial suicide for them, corporations are too entwined within our framework. Their politicians take orders from us, we own them whichever party they come from, including the ultimate trickster Farage and Cameron. Promises are always changed once a party fools enough people in an election.

Resistance is futile, as the insignificant sheeple voted for the EU, we will make you bleed for us, the few who are at the top of the pyramid. You deserve the government you voted for, and citizens of the EU are the most pliant mutton, easy to fool, over and over again. We look upon you with disdain and contempt, as you pay for our unlimited expense budgets. We laugh in your faces, and the funny thing is, you will never wake up, the citizens are tricked eternally.

“Please vote because it does not mean a thing, your vote is meaningless under the control of the EU, but you will never see that will you? We have two eyes, you have none, the blind people of the EU only existing in darkness.”