Boris Johnson (Rambojo) Ventures Deep Into South London

Today, we’re in search of insurgents deep in the South of Londonistan.

The Mayor of Londonistan, Boris Johnson, has decided to do things himself, a Kalashnikov, no helmet and a gut full of Chardonnay.

“This is where Jihadi John comes from and I’m going to sniff that little twerp from his hole faster than you can say amo, amas, amat,” the Mayor told awestruck Fox news reporters.

Most of the civilians in South Londonistan have now disappeared. Many have fled across the last standing bridge to North Londonistan but some, unfortunately, have died in the clashes.

Once airlifted in to the LZ somewhere near Streatham to the strains of Wagner, Rambojo, armed with an assortment of weapons including a .50 cal machine gun continued to clean out the dilapidated areas leaving many in his path no more than pieces of mince meat.

“It’s as if he’s posing for when he becomes prime minister,” a member of public said cheering on Rambojo.

There was, of course, no comment from David Cameron’s office.