Contact Lens Search at Berkeley Petrol Station Gets Out of Hand

BERKELEY - USA - Dwight S. Shabanaker, 34, lost a contact lens at a St. Louis gas station on Tuesday night and called in state troopers from three counties to search for the damn thing.

 

“I was driving for Christmas eve, and I stopped at the Berkeley gas station. I’m going to Huntsville which is 65 miles away. That’s when the lens popped out and I was already late. I called in the fire department, state troopers and even my uncle Larry who lives three blocks away from the gas station,” Mr. Shabanaker told Fox7 news reporters on the scene.

The ensuing mayhem that greeted gas station attendant Joe Donluca, was astounding.

“I seen everything doing this job, but having three police forces, a fire department and other helpers looking for one contact lens on the floor really took me by surprise. Folks were stepping on heads, hands, bumping each other, one cop even fell over and let off a massive firework.”

All’s well that ends well. After only six hours of searching, the contact lens was discovered. It was a quick dust off and pop back in the eye situation before Mr. Shabanaker got on his way and completed his Christmas journey.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: us

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    9 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    2 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    4 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    5 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.