Murray to be Crowned King of Scotland if Wins Wimbledon

EDINBURGH - Scotland - Tennis ace Andy Murray has been promised the Scottish crown if he wins Wimbledon this year by legislators guarding the Scot royal lineage.

“That’s one hell of an incentive right there,” Andy Murray said from his SW19 hotel room this evening.

The Murray Clan would have their own coat of arms, restoring the Jacobite monarchy and live in Edinburgh castle where a tennis court would be built next to the great hall.

“I, King Murray, will rule over Scotland and I promise to bring peace, prosperity and deep fried mars bars for every Scot,” Murray added.

Good luck to Murray from the Squib team.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: scotlanduk

    Recent Posts

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    1 week ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.